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Last September (2007) my heart exploded with love as I held my five hour old grandson. I could hardly contain the joy, the smiles and the nearly complete sense of contentment I felt. Flashbacks of love from long hidden memories expanded inside demanding acknowledgment and reconsideration. A fire long dampened began to rise in me. With the rising heat of love I finally had to acknowledge the paradox inside me that had dampened my fiery nature.
Love, the divine energy inside has many aspects. Holding this new/old soul against my breast brought forth tears of joy and sadness. How can i explain to this baby? He entered earth to energies of loving parents. four grandparents besides themselves with joy and one great-grandmother sighing with love's cycles. He also has one aunt, many great aunts and uncles, and lots of cousins joyous at his birth. So as love embraces his early life how do I tell him about the other side? How do i explain the growing dysfunctional world we live in? How do i watch his suffering when he begins to comprehend all the disfunction? A false democracy, rampant greed, torture, a society of violence and power over, etc. America......
Holding the energies of joy and sadness inside about my grandson is uncomfortable. Months later I came to realize sadness and joy are simply aspects of love. A jewel with many facets to shine and reflect back. With awareness, sadness can grow or joy or both. The world can have a harder edge like a diamond. The world can have a softness, like a rose pedal or a baby's cheek. A diamond can reflect back the pedal or the cheek but still retains it's hardness. Cheeks lose their softness over time and rose pedals die and wither. Yet love's beauty never changes, only transforms to another reflection. Innocence and facts balanced. Hard and soft. Truth and lies.
A mature mind, integrating all the paradoxes of living as a mature adult. Teaching him to use both the intuitive and logical brain to think outside the box. And always grounding one's spirit allowing beauty, kindness. humor and joy to shine. Both the hard and soft edges of love.
Guess I better start working on myself, re-igniting, shifting, adjusting and expanding consciousness. A fiery nature tempered by love. I now have a plan...hahaha |
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